Since most adults seem to identify themselves through their professions , I'll start with that: I'm a librarian. Well, sort of. My current title is "Substitute Reference Librarian," my first professional position. Even though I do work at the reference desk and the patrons and all my co-workers treat me with the same deference as any other librarian, I still sort of feel like I'm not really a librarian. I don't think I'll feel that way until I get a full-time job as a librarian, which may not happen for a long, long time, if ever. Even though I've only had this position for less than a year, I've had my MLIS degree for 3 years. In that time I've been struggling to find a librarian job. At this point in my life I feel like it will never happen. I'm even considering going back to school in the fall, getting another career, maybe starting over. Part of me thinks that would be smart, having a back-up career. Part of me thinks it's a huge betrayal, because I want to be a librarian so badly. To me, "librarian" is more than a career. It's who I am; it's my love of books, it's my nerdiness, it's even my cliched plastic glasses.

I just mentioned my other big personality trait. I'm a nerd. Not just a bit of a nerd. A huge one. The kind of annoying nerd who is proud to be a nerd, and has no hesitation showing it. To prove my point, here are a few pictures of myself:


I suppose I've always been a nerd at heart, but the real transformation began in 8th grade, when my dad took me to see the special edition Star Wars trilogy in the theater. I've never been quite the same since. In addition to Star Wars, I love Buffy, Harry Potter, Firefly, dressing up in costumes, going to Renaissance festivals, reading YA literature, reading any kind of literature, graphic novels, comic books, Disney movies, tabletop RPGs, video games, and other nerds. The other big thing about me is that I tend to define myself through things that I like, mostly movies and tv shows, instead of real-world things like family and friends and whether or not I'm a dog or cat person (I like both, but I do live with one cat). I suppose most people are like that to a point, but with me it's much more transparent. However, like ogres and onions, I do have at least a few more layers.

I'm a vegetarian. Have been for more than 7 years. For ethical reasons, and not really for my health. In fact, I weigh more now than I did right before I stopped eating meat. I'm not saying that being a vegetarian isn't healthy; I firmly believe that eating meat causes many problems, and that a plant-based diet is the best thing for everyone and the planet. I'm just saying that I don't do it right. I snack too much; I eat too many chips and cookies and too much candy, processed food and salt. God, I love salt. I have seriously considered installing a salt-lick in my apartment. I sometimes nibble on vegan "beef" bouillon cubes. Sick, I know.

Speaking of sick, I'm also a hypochondriac. Well, more of a chronic worrier, but I suppose it's all the same thing. I worry constantly that the weird headache is a sure sign of a brain aneurysm, or that the lump in my neck is thyroid cancer. Unfortunately there isn't really a cure for hypochondria, except maybe therapy and drugs, neither of which I can afford right now. So I guess the worry will just slowly eat me up, causing all sorts of real symptoms but imaginary diseases, until one day I die of anxiety or a stress-related heart attack.

I'm also a little morbid.

On a happier note, I'm also engaged to/live with the most perfect person in the world for me. John was once just a fantasy (we knew each other online for a long time before we met in person) and although I admit I was a bit obsessed with the idea of him being my soul mate, he eventually realized the same thing, and we've been together ever since. John is just as nerdy as I am, if not nerdier. He likes most of the same things I do, and he's also a science geek. He's incredibly patient with me when I have anxiety attacks, or hypochondriac episodes, or just start to act generally crazy. I honestly don't know how he puts up with me sometimes, which is what makes him so special. I couldn't be luckier. And, since I KNOW you're asking yourself, "When are they going to get married?" I have no idea. The main feature of our wedding will ideally be a honeymoon to Fiji, but we're just too poor to afford that right now. So when we get our job act together, I'll let you know.

I could let you in on more of the inner workings of me, but I'm afraid that 1. This post has gone on too long already, and 2. I would frighten you away. I'm really a nice person, once you get to know me. You just have to accept all my quirks and weirdness first. See you tomorrow.